It is my belief that the astute and renowned psychologist Dr Carl Rogers, in his book titled, ‘A Way of Being’, appropriately sums this up best as follows:
‘I regret it when I suppress my feelings too long and they burst forth in ways that are distorted or attacking or hurtful’.
I think most of us can probably relate to the behaviour or experience he describes so succinctly – that is engaging in behaviour that is essentially destructive to one’s self and/or another person. The emotions may be delayed or unexpressed deliberately, and are therefore consciously motivated, or alternatively (and more often than not) unconsciously buried, or out of conscious awareness. As a result they are quite likely to resurface. This is a simple example where counselling can assist with identifying a particular pattern of behaviour, often maladapted, and help an individual to work towards elucidating a greater understanding of themselves, thus creating an environment that promotes improved and healthier relationships. Furthermore, there is also a body of published scientific research linking unexpressed emotions to physical and psychological health, and overall wellbeing, in which it appears to demonstrate this behaviour is detrimental to good health. This does not imply, however, that every emotion experienced requires expression. On the contrary, it means being more consciously aware, so that an individual is able to discern how, when, or even if they should respond, and to do so accordingly.
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